Incontrovertible Proof That Star Wars Episode 7 Will Be Good

The trailer’s out. I didn’t cry at first, like I did with both teasers. Then I got misty. Then I saw Daisy Ridley lose her shit on Instagram and then I lost my shit, and now when I hear the music I get all blubbery. Sheesh.

Here’s my official hunch that serves as proof that this film will be a good and proper Star Wars film: Hyperspace Star Trails. After serving as a touchstone image in the original trilogy (not to mention a critical plot device), the star trails that result from going into hyperspace were absent in all the prequels. On purpose. George Lucas specifically didn’t have those moments in the prequel trilogy because he considered them to be reserved imagery for the original trilogy (Citation needed, can’t find it. Hit me on twitter if you find the source).

My incredibly logical point is this: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith pretty much sucked, and none of them had proper lightspeed imagery. Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi had that proper hyperspace imagery and were excellent (well, Jedi was just OK, but Empire was perfect so it evens out).

THEREFORE, IT WAS THE HYPERSPACE STAR STREAKS THAT MADE THE FILMS GOOD. It then follows that The Force Awakens will also be good because it has the light streaks. QED.

Incontrovertible proof. You cannot crack my logic.